Validation

Validation is tough to come by.   Most people can’t understand what could possibly cause an adult child to separate from their parents.   Clearly it would seem there must be somehting grossly wrong, but few are able to see/validate how it is justified.

I think there are two major reasons for that.

First, narcissists are experts at concealing.  If something does get exposed they are amazing at covering it.  “oh no, that isn’t at all what I said, meant or intended.  You’re too sensitive.  Give me the benefit of the doubt.”

Second, the way a narcisst handles their inner circle is very different than people that they have casual relationships with.    Our natural human goodness is used against us.  For example, we all want acceptance and approval from our parents.   Holding that acceptance just out of reach creates some ideal dynamics for a narcissist, maybe the most important being them retaining/holding the power.  As a child keeps striving for acceptance it makes the narcissist feel empowered, strong and gives them the “supply” they so need.   Needless to say the experience for the child isn’t beneficial at all.  Growing up feeling not quite good enough and not fully accepted or good enough to be accepted leaves a child with “issues.”

To someone who grew up in a relatively normal family all this is difficult to detect or fathom.  The truth is sometimes it is hard for me to validate and I have plenty of evidence to both justify and validate what has transpired